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Unfair Life – Suicides and more suicides

Why do people commit suicide? The news gives you information like failed in an exam – took their life, failed love story – took their life, unable to pay back a loan – took their life. You begin to wonder – who gave them the permission to take their life? You can ask who am I to judge? I have seen people going through worse things in life and fighting through it. I have seen people in their last breaths struggling to stay alive and praying that some miracle would save them and give them back their life. I have gone through times when I have wanted to do the same and I am still here. And I am seeing people take their own life without thinking about anyone else around them. Why? You have it doesn’t mean you own it!

What point in your life’s miseries does it become okay to commit suicide? Who am I to say you must live with your problems and fight through it just to die some day? Am I talking about people who have real shitty problems they cannot get out of? If I am going to be raped by 20 people, would I rather kill myself or go through that hell? That is a hypothetical scenario (which actually happens in some parts of the world! that is a completely different topic of discussion…) but you see my point. I am just an onlooker you might think, an onlooker who has no idea what the person is actually going through to make them take that decision. Just an onlooker but I am also a human being who is scarred for life seeing another human being die. It might be the way of life but does it make it any less painful? It’s like saying, you KNOW the pan is very hot so it should not hurt you when you hold it. Maybe it is “to each their own”. And maybe I have to make peace with things that this is the way of the world. But I cannot stop thinking is there no way to reduce this? We are human beings who are flying into space right now – do we not have a solution for this?

Humans are compassionate people. Most of us want to help others to the best of our ability. Could the person committing suicide not find one human being to talk to and find a solution to their problem? Not one person? Our world’s population is ever increasing by the day. We have helplines and therapists sitting in offices to listen to people and their problems. Tons of inspirational amazing books that can get you through some really tough times. We have million ways of entertainment that provide distraction. We have million places where you can go and get some peace of mind. I don’t know do they try everything in their power to be happy before making the ultimate decision? How does losing one battle push them to think they have lost the war? Maybe I am the one who is not able to understand and being naive.

My grudge is with people who commit suicide for reasons that are fixable (maybe not immediately but at some point) and scar everyone else around them for the rest of their living lives. Suicide in public places. Watching a person jump out of a building. Watching a person jump in front of a train. Why? Would you want to be the person standing and watching a person fall from a building and stand there helplessly? Would you want to be the person driving a train/bus when another human being jumps in front of it and have to live with it for the rest of your life? Think about it. Do you want to be in that spot? I bet you wouldn’t want it. Then why would you put others through it by doing the exact same damn thing. You want to end the life you have do it in a room where no one can reach you and have the courtesy of calling a hospital before you die so that it makes it easy for the people around you.

Again, who am I to judge! All I can do is vent and get it out of my system and spread a tiny bit of awareness that suicide is not the answer to every problem and there are people in this world who can help. I am not trying to be insensitive here about the people who have taken their life. I just want to call out to those who want to – to try everything in your power to fight it out before you completely give up. Reach out for help, talk to your family and friends, talk to whoever you trust – someone will definitely help. If possible have some courtesy towards other fellow human beings by not committing suicide in public places where children and people weak of heart end up seeing it. It is not a pretty sight.

Life is always unfair isn’t it? If life is unfair to everyone, does it make it fair?

Thought for the Day!

The world always has something to say about you or so you think.

Clingy if you are trying to get some attention or prove yourself and aloof and selfish if you stop giving a damn. So just stop giving a damn. Nobody cares after two minutes except you. So live for yourself and do what you dream. And baby, dream Big!

Image result for word for not giving a damn

Stress… anxiety and Life

End of a long busy weekend you would think it would relieve the stress off of your mind. But surprise! The day after the long weekend it does feel fresh but definitely the stress guest is still residing in the space of your head. The morning bright day does not bother you. You will always wish you had one extra day to relax and start work fresh but let me tell you no matter how many days of leave you get it will never be enough unless your work is your one true love of your life. But for most of the people working in IT weekends are never enough.

Anxiety is like a worm. You have no clue from where it creeps in and what triggers it. No amount of holidays, vacations, time off, therapy can get it out of your head. Only you can. We have a lot of choices in life but all of it boils down to two things at the end. You can either whine about what is stressing you out or you can stop worrying and start acting out on an action plan. Every problem has a solution if not today definitely later. One step at a time is the mantra to any problem. You will at least feel better you accomplished something that day even if the problem exists. However small the step towards solution and however difficult that might be it is critical to getting rid of the problems in your life. There is no better motivation than yourself. Believe!

Remember Rome was not built in a day so is the solution to your problem!

Never Regret…

I don’t remember what made me do it, but back in college I had promised myself I would never regret about anything in life. A good promise, hard to keep.

Regrets in life are like a bag of chips. You know its bad, but when you eat one you cannot stop with one. You start regretting one tiny little thing and then realize your list growing long, long, long, longer every passing minute. And if you by any chance become sad because of those regrets (which eventually you will), there is no coming out of that abyss. At one point, you would start regretting your existence. What is the point then? What is the point of those times you had laughed so hard you cried? What is the point of those times when you had fought with your family or friends and made all attempts to convince them because you loved them more than the silly fights? What is the point of those times when you had worked your ass off at your work place? One regret and the value of everything that mattered to you goes down the drain.

Why do we regret? It is a natural reaction to something we wish had not happened the way it did. It is a very strong emotion that can completely change the way you look at things. Well, we don’t have a time machine to go back in time and change what happened. Do we?

Never Regret. You cannot change what has happened. What will happen is always in your control, so you can still fix things in the future. You can learn from your mistake, instead of wasting time regretting it. If it is not in your control, then you have even more reasons not to worry about it, though that does not mean you don’t do anything about it. I strongly believe everything happens for a reason. Every little thing, good or bad, has its own consequence, maybe not now but later. Every moment teaches you something. See it as a learning, try not to do the same mistake next time, pat yourself, put a big smile on your face and try harder next time, there is nothing that you cannot do.

You fall, you rise, you learn and that is how you fly. But never Regret.

Silence of the Mountains..

Kudremukh – you can find the history in the Wiki pages. I am not going to talk about that.

Nobody enjoys hardship, but everyone knows that the fruit of hardship is always sweet. That was the case with the Kudremukh trip. The ride to the top of the mountains in an open jeep was bumpy, challenging, thrilling, crazy, and not smooth at all but at the end of it we were stunned and speechless with the view that presented itself in front of our eyes. Mountains all around us, a nice blanket of mist, setting sun, cold breeze, cloudy day, what more can you ask for. It was like the most perfect day. Heavenly!

Time had frozen. We had frozen. Slowly sinking in the feel of the place. Enjoying the moment as it was. A perfect vacation! Your mind instantly starts to browse through endless list of songs in your head. One song gets stuck and starts playing in your head. The place suddenly starts to seem even more beautiful. Walking along with the mountains,with nothing but silence around you, your brain starts to wander thinking how peaceful all this seems. But then, its human brain and does not stop with one thought. Does it?

Another side of your brain starts having random thoughts about life, your happy moments, people you miss, people you hate, things you wish you had done, things you wish you hadn’t, your worries, your fears, hopes and regrets and suddenly you are lost in your thoughts so much that you are no longer in the present moment. The same silence that brought you peace, now floods your head with so many emotions that you cannot even shut it up.

Isn’t this what all our life is about? We hunt for peace of mind all the time and when we finally have silence around us, we fill ourselves with so much noise that we lose what we have in the present. Our eyes are always fogged, illusion of happy and content life, always in search of something, we wander. We wander in search of something, but never realize it even if we find it, searching further for more. But is this not what makes us human? Is this not what helps us grow as a race? If we were all to find inner peace and value of life in the serenity and silence of the mountains, we would have all become saints and never would have had to go back to normal life and society.

We are human and that is why we have problems, we have worries, and yet we continue to live through pain. But, if there is one place where we can find answers to all our questions and problems it is in – the Silence of the Mountains. The day we stop searching, the day we stop thinking, the day the skies become clear, is the day we stop growing and living.